Implosion: Sex, Life and Love at its Rawest

ISBN - 9781780916507

eISBN - 9781781563434 (available at Amazon)

Extent: 352 pages

Published: March 2023

"Implosion is so brilliant" Clover Stroud, bestselling author of 'The Wild Other"

“Your intro is spectacular…one learns so much, even at 53.” Dr Alessio Assonitis (Art Historian/Academic and Director of the Medici Archive Project)

Implosion is a toolkit for any modern-day nightmare scenario – it will help anyone to know that they’re not alone when they feel completely overwhelmed by life’s di­fficult setbacks.

The result of a 2.5 year mammoth project started in Lockdown 1, Implosion charts the real-life experiences of 23 contemporary UK women aged between 21-76 years, of their lives imploding for different reasons.

These experiences include being incarcerated in prison, falling for a revered orchestra conductor, sexual desire at the age of 72 , work overwhelm, domestic violence, a disastrous affair with an older boss, a parent's sudden death, receiving a shocking cancer diagnosis of only 3 months to live, being jilted just before a wedding, losing a baby halfway through pregnancy, hotel chain hook-ups, being cyber-stalked, best friends making passes at your husband, not fitting in, a mother's suicide when her daughter is only 9, fleeing another country with one suitcase and your children, flirting on your kids' football-practice sidelines, body dysmorphia, being completely abandoned by your long-time married lover, having your husband commit suicide (after meeting him as a burlesque dancer), being woken up at 3am by your PTSD-suffering spouse declaring he has a 'God Complex' and so on. 

These women's true tales include betrayal, Oxbridge, racism, abortion, porn, weird health symptoms, academia, being a dominatrix, eating disorders, deportation, classical violin, ostracism, Erectile Dysfunction, fraud, a stem-cell transplant, lust, deep love, sex, financial control, addiction, grief, heartache, glamour, forbidden relationships, kinks, courage, oversharing, agoraphobia, despair, boundaries, alcoholism, anger, threesomes, delusion, obsession, poverty, depression, taboos, mental torment, breakdown, transvestism, affluence, ghosting, alpha males, mania, rehabilitation, strength, true friendship, emotional abuse, courage, bullying, uncomfortable chats, fitness, sex parties, support, personal authenticity, companionship, breadcrumming, recalibration, family secrets, alpha females, new beginnings, police cells, the unexpected kindness of strangers and so on......

These real experiences depict humanity and life at its very worst but also at its VERY BEST!  Positivity, perspective, hope and great strength can be derived from the examples of how these women have coped.  There is certainly a story contained within Implosion that appeals to every single person across the planet.'

It summarises what happened to each anonymous or non-anonymous woman, the fall-out, how they survived and how they rebuilt their lives. Each chapter features each individual woman’s story of life at its rawest.

Furthermore, every chapter asks each woman to share what their experiences have taught them, what advice they would give to other women [or men!] going through similar experiences and where they are now in their lives...

Implosion is ultimately a very uplifting, positive ‘Life Bible’ about how to cope with any traumatic life situation. It demonstrates the power that everyone has within them to access and harness their inner strength, to dig deep, get through and move beyond the toughest of life’s challenges

 Some extracts of conversations from the Book Participants' interviews: 

 "I think I have feelings for you...I can't stop thinking about you...I can't eat or sleep because of you"

 "I keep trying to tell you but you won't listen...I'm sorry but I don't love you anymore. It's completely over..."

 "It was him that instigated it with me - he pursued me! We've both been duped by this man."

 "I hope you have a miserable life!"

 "I'm sorry but you only have three months to live."

 "We are going to be performing an awake craniotomy on you.."

 "Book the dungeon with the boxing ring.."

 "I'm so sorry, he didn't make it.."

 "I can't find a heartbeat...I need to get my colleagues.."

 "I was desperate to fly off to Prague to my academic conference and leave this huge mess behind me...even temporarily...I had to get away before I topped myself.."

 "I found bottles of wine in the wardrobe.."

 "But there was another problem: Hugo frequently became obsessed with young female musicians.."

"two and a half years. Take her away!"

 "People don't care for angry widows.."

 "I remember a family counselling session and I ran out of the room crying..." 

 "There was a note and all it said, was: 'Girls, don't go in the garage'..." 

 "I cried to the lovely nurse who sat with me for 45 minutes and I drank Horlicks and I raged against the world."

"I closed my eyes and I kept picturing mum hanging from different places in the garage."

"I was a little awestruck by this group because of my own humdrum existence."

"Robert and his interactive friends decided to play games with my identity to grab my attention online."

"We were living in an elegant town house by the sea filled with art treasures..."

"Counting out coppers felt pitiful...I was robbing Peter to pay Paul.."

"I sought to control the one thing I could, which was food."

"How could you do this to your marriage? To our marriage? We were friends!"

"It was just sex....thinking about it now makes me feel sick."

"Do you feel sorry for me?" [Reply: "no you're just a chicken" - This was from a dominatrix role-play!] 

"even my female friends in my real world acted like mandem."

"I can't remember the words she spoke but I will never forget the look on her face."

"Leukaemia is back ☹"

"I found myself covered in blood and diarrhoea because the drugs they give you to start the birth makes you evacuate everything. I remember thinking this is literally, a bit sh*t."

"Only if you don't pounce..."

"It's because of your f**king selfish affair that dad's tried to commit suicide."

"Your husband's taken out a £40,000 loan in your name...he's forged your signature."

"Are you calling me a slut? Are you saying I go after friends' husbands?"

"You need to pack your things up right now and leave these premises."

"You know I've always found you attractive.."

"Where are you? Why haven't you returned my calls?  I'm going to keep harassing you until you crack..."

"Saskia locks their balls into holes in the humbler.."

"Your husband and I have a special thing...he makes me laugh so much."

"You'll be needing your fat clothes soon!"

"I'm addicted to him...."

"I had lost sight of important boundaries..."

"Having to shop for wigs..."

"Professional men get dressed up in school uniforms and get spanked..."

"I also suspected he was having an affair but I couldn't find any proof.."

"the tarot reading suggested that there was more for me to uncover if I was brave enough to ask further questions..."

"how did I not know that my baby had died?!"

"I felt a fraud."

"I drove to some rugged cliffs on that stormy day and watched the raging water below.....I felt suicidal.."

"I can't do it! I can't do it! I'm going to be sick ....GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

About the Author

Lindsey Joanne Bauer is a writer, archaeologist and social historian currently in the midst of undertaking a History PhD at the University of Bristol regarding the mental health, challenges and resilience strategies of Italian Renaissance women. Lindsey is also a keen triathlete, novice trapezist, art model and mum, based in the UK. You can follow Lindsey on Instagram: lindseybauer8

Media from Lindsey

A Q&A with the Hypatia Trust in Cornwall talking to Lindsey in June 2022 when she published the book on a private, very small print run.

https://hypatia-trust.org.uk/hypatia-woman-of-the-month-cornwall/lindseybauer

Lindsey discusses the book on the Tin Biscuit Podcast.

https://thetinbiscuitpodcast.podbean.com/e/lindsey-comes-onto-the-podcast-to-talk-about-her-book/

Reader Reviews:

"I devoured it a few days after reading it"

"This is awesome!!!!!! You deserve it more than anyone I'm LOVING the book by the way!!! Can't wait to see you soon (if you're not too busy giving interviews on daytime TV and to top magazines by then!!!!!!) "

"I’ve now read the first story - very powerful." 

"Just read Izzy's story and it resonated with me so much. I'm finding a lot of the recollections reassuring."

"Almost finished Implosion.... you should be extremely proud. I can feel your positivity emanating."

"I've managed the first couple of stories - things got a bit crazy with work restructuring and I've just had some surgery, but I'm planning some more book time this weekend while hubby goes for a run. It's fabulous, I'm so proud of you and it's why I'm only too happy to help. More people need to see this. "

"Brilliant- thank you. Two of our students were talking about how amazing they were finding your book! "

"I am loving your book Lindsay. I love it that after each story, it tells you what their experiences have taught them. The life advice each of these women give, based upon their own situations, is so powerful. I imagine you sitting and talking to all of these inspirational people whilst I’m reading it. Amazing!"

"I’ve been reading your book this holiday. It’s been so inspirational. It puts into perspective my silly worries about my job and has given me the lift I needed to put my best foot forward. I do need a plan but, for the short term at least, I’ve got this."

#women #womenempoweringwomen #mentalhealth #truestories